Right Love/Wrong Marriage
By Arhata Osho
May 5, 2010
Marriage and love are like a mirage in the desert for all but a few. Men and women don’t know how to love even though they are quick to defend it as not true. Doesn’t take a genius to observe that, if one is insightful. Many say they are married to their best friend but in fact they have no other competitors. People who part, rarely stay as anything resembling ‘best friends’.
The mirage of love or marriage is fueled by ‘biological and emotional’ infatuations which disappear into a memory to be replaced by a co-dependent partnership that has some foggy semblance of love when biology clicks in. Society’s strong, but weakening, voice of ‘marriage for life’ is rapidly becoming extinct. Longevity has nothing to do with a happy marriage, but likely illustrates 2 people who are too dependent on a way of life that is too painful to change. Avoidance of pain is a major reason for marriages staying together.
Love is not an institution, nor should marriage be nothing but. The old ‘love and marriage is like a horse and carriage’ where most horses are donkey’s, and who uses a cart anymore? Learning to love over time begins with the self first and not a ‘fixer upper’ marriage based on manipulation, domination and control. Love and real marriage is not an illusion but to those who begin taking it for granted with limited communication to draw closer to each other. People are a mystery that, when given healthy, deep getting to know more about each other, is as close to a ‘nirvana’ as one can get.
Deepening love eliminates any mirage leaving an imprint of love that follows one throughout life regardless of whether two remain together. Love takes but a moment and those moments multiply to fill one with a depth of self love that is forever enduring in a state of bliss. The one we love translates into a love for everyone especially those who are able to deeply love. Unconscious love and marriage is but a ‘mirage’. Conscious love and marriage is a supernatural state always growing.
If you want to read more of his words. You can find him at his blog: ArhataOsho.com
I first came across Arhata on the Venice Boardwalk, I was 21.